The Elusive Thing Called Happiness, Chapter I

The worst is behind me
—I tell myself—I'm already old.
The worst is yet to come,
I'm still alive.
But if you must know,
I was happy.
Sometimes a whole day, sometimes a whole hour.
sometimes only a few minutes.
That's enough.
-Jaroslav Seifert

She came up to me, put her hand gently on my wrist and said, "I just love this yarn.  It makes me so happy and is such beautiful colors."  It was just a touch, but it was enough to make me smile. M is a friend of mine in our knitting group at the local retirement village.  I judge her to be in her late 80s or early 90's.  Her hearing is not good, her hair is thin and gray, she falls easily and sleeps poorly,  but she is the most beautiful, and one of the happiest persons I know. 

Knowing M makes the poem by Jaroslav Seifert hard for me to enjoy.  "The worst is behind me," and the worst is yet to come"; my first response was to bristle, feeling that I was going to read a 'poor little me' poem.  Not so; for, in my eyes, Seifert redeems himself a trifle by saying, "But I was happy."  The 'was' is what is unnerving, and frightening.  When one reaches old age, do we silently throw away our dancing slippers and fold ourselves into our laprobe?  Was happy?   What I see with Millie is a woman who has lost a beloved husband, has become unable to care for herself and her home and who gets an occasional visit from her son at this place which is now her home away from home.

She WAS happy?  What has she got to be happy about now?  Not much, we could say.  But, unlike those who chase happiness in life, only to realize that happiness is a side bar item, M knows that, and she is wise enough to know that joy is in the day, in the wind, in the outlook.  Life's joy is not found all alone on a shelf in a box. Chase it if you will--you will not find it in any singularly impressive place.  Nor do we have to utter that dreadful word WAS:  happiness can be in every day's most common events. 

M rewards us with her words of happiness:  "I'm so enjoying that wonderful, three volume biography of Teddy Roosevelt," she tells us.  "Yes, I fell and skidded all the way down the hall on my face and shoulder.  But I was OK--I knew I hadn't broken any bones!", I want to make a little shrug to wear at night when I read in bed, and I want it to be an elegant color and very simple in style, because that's me.  I'm not very fancy, " " I'm so delighted!  My friend is taking me to the mall and I just know I'll find all sorts of nice things that I would like to buy."  "Oh, don't fret about the young.  Give them a chance."  "Yes, I'm on the library committee here.  Isn't that nice?"  When we see M enter the room, we automatically smile--we know that we will be better for having that hour with her wisdom and calming spirit.  Happiness is not a WAS for M. 

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health -- Julia Childs