The Fire in Our Hearts

 There may be a great fire in our hearts, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passers-by see only a wisp of smoke.

                                                                                                -Van Gogh

One of the most destructive boundaries that can face us is that which faced Van Gogh.  Toward the end of his short life, his mental condition interfered so drastically in his life’s force that he was unable to paint.  The fire in his heart simply died because he could find no outlet for it.  The above picture was painted by Van Gogh in 1890, shortly before he ended his life.  It was titled, “At Eternity’s Gate.”

 When something, age perhaps, interferes with that which gives life meaning, the need to find an outlet for our personal fire becomes paramount..  Michael de Montaigne said,  “Be vigorously involved in all that brings us pleasure in life…and let death catch up with us as it may,”  but without that involvement, life can simply lose its flavor, and we can lose our enthusiasm--our reason to exist.  The word ‘enthusiasm’ comes from the Greek, ‘en theos’ or ‘in God.’ Without en theos--the spirit of life, the joy is lost.

As we age, we go through developmental changes caused by physical or emotional blocks, or our own misconception of how we should act and what we are able to do with this older body.  We may give up golf because we can no longer play as well as we did, we may give up reading because the print is too small–there are so many changes that can cause us to mentally and physically close down. 

Whatever the boundary, we have to find a way to light a fire.  We have to find the joy, that ‘en theos’ that makes us want to get up in the morning.   What if that fire no longer draws our friends to our house, because they see no smoke in the chimney?  Ah, how sad it is to quit life because of not feeling as confident of our worth.  One of the secrets that we may not  have learned earlier in our lives, is to work for ourselves, do those things which we like and which are fun for us.  Too much of our lives are spent trying to please others.  I’m sure there are other olders, like me, who have focused on doing and creating for personal pleasure.  I never wrote, or had time to write when I was younger.  The feistiness of age has helped me say to myself,  “Do it!  Let others think what they will.”  Writing is a very selfish thing for me – and it is something I never thought of doing when I was younger.

  “… use the talent you possess:  the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” –Henry Van Dyke, (1852-1933).